i’m on the verge of caving

Well I’ve had a week from hell.
The supplements I’ve been taking to help with anxiety (and they do be helping) have been putting in overtime.

Luna and Benny

Monday, as I posted last week, I had the oral surgery. Physically it hasn’t been too bad, mostly just the stitches bothering me. As long as I don’t smile or laugh it doesn’t hurt. I have my follow up Wednesday. Mentally? Not so great.

On Tuesday, my boss at my new job (which I officially start today), called and asked if they could go ahead and get me set up on email and everything, because things were a bit in shambles – they hadn’t been able to reach my co-worker in several days – that co-worker is the person I was going to be working directly with every day once I started new job. I’ve known this person for years and that’s not like them. But we got me set up.

On Wedneday new boss called again and told me co-worker had passed away.

And I’ve been hearing my new boss’ voice saying that sentence on repeat in my head every day ever since. This co-worker was also my friend. I’m devastated. I then had to sit and listen to a call for about 20 minutes about contacts and whatnot while my brain spiraled, trying to wrap itself around this news.

From the little nuggets of information I’ve picked up in the days since, he’d been ill. We never really talked about personal things like that, outside of work stuff it was just things like “omg my cat/his dog just did this” or mostly talking about Disney news, Disney trips, etc. He loved Disney as much as me. I hope he’s currently on a grand and miraculous spaceship, sailing through the universe of time.

Friday was my last day at old job. I sent out a Goodbye email to the whole team about 2 hours before I left. Only 1 person replied and said goodbye back.

Irritatingly, the HR person I spoke to on Friday for my exit interview said I was overdrawn on PTO days. But my system showed I still had 36 hours. So now it’s a anybody’s guess what my final paycheck will be. I sent her a screenshot showing my PTO so hopefully I get that time paid out, otherwise it’s going to be tight going to Disney at the end of the month.

Saturday we ran some errands in the morning. I returned all of my equipment at a UPS store – laptop, phone, etc. Went to Lush to pick up some more shampoo (I was out) and a bath bomb to soothe myself. The employee gave me a free Lush gift box (crying emoji).

Yesterday we went to At Home just because I wanted to look at Christmas stuff. Chase asked why do you want to go to stores and just look at stuff? I said it’s because it makes me feel like I’m with my Mema and we’re just going around shopping without a care in the world and I need that feeling right now. I got 2 clip on poinsettias and because we signed up for their rewards program, a whole tub of pink ornaments.

(I was folding laundry in the living room, carried most of it to the bedroom to put away, came back for these 2 pairs of pants and Luna had knocked them over and made a nest.)

Chase and I wanted to go to Jollywood Nights on our upcoming Disney trip. Wanted to wait til after my surgery to book it and everytime I’d looked, there were still tickets available. I went to look Tuesday and it was sold out. Big bummer. Chase tried calling to see if somebody at guest services could snag a couple but they said no go, just keep refreshing and maybe some will pop up.

So that’s what we did all week. Then on Friday Chase said he was calling again. Then he called me and said to check MyDisney, there was something wrong with our tickets. And I was like oh great, just what we need, he got on the phone with Disney and they couldn’t even find our tickets! So I went and looked and he was tricking me – 2 Jollywood Nights tickets in our app along with our park tickets. Crying emoji. Like literally it made me cry.

And it gave me something fun to focus on and think about. Originally I was going to wear the dapper Bespin dress, because I think the dark red looks very Christmas-y, especially when I add some poinsettias to the hair. But we saw Chip and Dale are meeting at Jollywood in their Rescue Ranger outfits, so of course now we have to take our Chip and Dale Dapper outfits. But I don’t feel like my Dale is very Christmas-y. I bought some bigger clip on poinsettias yesterday to put on the hat that have some gold on them to tie into the gold of my belt, and I have a holly brooch saved on amazon. I was going to use an orange shawl as a wrap since it might be chilly in a sleeveless, backless top, but I don’t think that’s Christmas-y enough, I think I may get something red.

Also realizing the trip is IMMINENT and kinda snuck up on me I started doing laundry yesterday so I could figure out what to wear.

So Day 1 is run around Orlando in the morning/check in to resort 1 (we are doing a split stay), then spend the afternoon/evening enjoying the resort. So tshirt and shorts in the day, maybe my new Disneyland sweater that evening?
Day 2 is Disney Springs during the day. Dunno what to pack for that. That night we have dinner at Artist Point and I’m wearing Dapper Bespin for that.
Day 3 is Epcot – I think I’m going to do my Scarlet Witch hoodie and ears.
Day 4 is DHS/Jollywood. During the day I’m going to wear that new Leia romper I got – I need to get a belt for it. Then Dale that night.
Day 5 is MK – I think I’m going to do a Padme outfit?

God I can’t wait for my Emotional Support Disney Trip.