Today’s question is…
Something that wasn’t asked but I wanted to talk about anyway because I’m a grumpy old lady.
In my adult life, I’ve gone to dozens of fan conventions, of all sizes and genres. And I’ve seen a lot of people act like idiots. Young and old fans alike.
A con is a great place to let your hair down, and have fun with your fellow geeks and friends. I myself do partake of a large dose of silliness every year at Dragon*con.
That being said, being at a convention is not an excuse to forget to act like a decent human being.
1. Be thoughtful of those around you, especially if you are in a costume.
Be aware of the crowd around you. It’s easy to get caught up rubber-necking a neat costume or dealer’s table, but pay attention to your surroundings as well. If you’re in a costume with pokey-bits sticking off of it, be especially careful. Don’t put someone’s eye out with your wings.
Also, don’t be obnoxious in crowded areas. While it’s fun to be with all your friends and you’re having a great time and you’re all in costume, the rest of us don’t really want to hear you screaming about your favourite OTP over and over and over again, or try to stay out of your way while you play grabass with your friends.
2. Do not impede others.
Move out of traffic if you need to stop; move out of the flow of traffic if you’ve realized you don’t know where you are going.
Find an out-of-the-way spot to take photos. If a photographer asks you for a shot in the middle of a busy walkway, ask him/her if you can move to a less crowded spot – don’t stop traffic for the photo. Try not to take photos at all in especially busy areas, like crowded dealer’s halls.
Don’t sit down in crowded walkways and don’t try to run through them, either (unless you have a good reason, like an emergency).
3. Be polite and respectful to others, including costumers.
Ask if you may take a photo first, especially if the costumer is sitting down/eating/looks otherwise occupied. (If a costumer is already posing for another photo, then I don’t think it’s really necessary to ask — go ahead and take the shot, but a “thanks” afterwards goes a long way.)
PLEASE don’t take a photo of a costumer eating, even if you think it’s a funny photo. Especially don’t bother a costumer for a photo if they look visibly upset – crying or hurt. It happens. I had someone ask for a photo at a con once when I was sitting on the floor crying over an upsetting phone call. NO!
The same goes for regular, non-costuming con goers as well. Be respectful of them, even if they like something you don’t; taking a photo of a normal person you think would be “funny” to post on the internet really isn’t funny at all.
Don’t give side-eyes or nasty looks to people in costumes you don’t like or the same costume you’re wearing.
Hand out compliments freely.
(This is not a good time for photos.)
4. If you are going to drink, do so responsibly.
Be an adult. Do you have a ride home? If you get drunk are you going to act stupid? Are you with people you can trust?
Don’t take drinks from people you don’t know.
If you’re bringing your own alcohol, make sure you know the hotel’s policy on outside-alcohol beforehand.
Tip the bartenders.
Know your limit. A hangover is not a fun thing to bring home from a convention.
5. Don’t break the escalators with your costume.
Try not to break the escalators in general. Every con with a escalator sees it broken at some point during the weekend, and sometimes it’s because someone’s long costume got stuck in it. Pick up your trains and capes and be careful.
6. Don’t overcrowd the elevators.
“YOU HAVE ROOM FOR TWO MORE”
No, no we really don’t. I like my fellow geeks, but not enough to be crammed up against them for a 30 floor elevator ride.
(They’re not made to be overcrowded. Don’t be the one who broke the freaking elevators.)
7. In a crowded situation, don’t ride up one or two floors on the elevator when stairs are available, unless it’s necessary.
There are a myriad of good reasons for needing to ride the elevator up one or two floors – you are handicapped, or injured, or even just that your costume prevents you from taking stairs. Maybe you just have a splitting headache. Ok, that’s all fine.
But if you’re otherwise perfectly capable don’t cram yourself on an already crowded elevator just to go up a floor when there was an escalator 20 yards away.
8. Give handicap folks the right-of-way.
It’s really hard to get an elevator at this con! It’s so crowded! Imagine how someone stuck in a wheelchair or with a cane feels as everyone pushes forward and crams on the emptying elevator before they can even start to move towards it. They don’t have the option of taking the stairs. Let them have first-go at an elevator.
Also, some people’s mobility (or otherwise) issues may not be visible – that’s why it’s important to NOT act like a pack of wild dogs as soon as the elevator opens. Let people get off the elevator first, let people who were waiting before you get on first, help others who need help, etc.
9. Watch where you are walking.
Again with the rubber-necking! Besides keeping an eye out to make sure you’re not running into someone in front of you, also keep an eye towards the ground. You could be running smack into a very expensive remote-controlled R2-D2 because you were too busy staring at the really hot girl in costume. Or stepping on someone’s bag they sat down for half a second so they could adjust their backpack or costume piece. Or stepping on a person who stopped to tie their shoe. Just pay attention.
10. Don’t touch other people without permission.
While being in a costume can open up a great door to conversation and friendship, it doesn’t mean you can hug or touch them without asking first.
Ask if you can give a hug; don’t be surprised or hurt if the answer is no. Your hug may damage their costume or they’re just not the touchy-feely type. You’re a complete stranger to them, after all.
I don’t mind an arm around the waist while posing for a photo with someone, but other people’s mileage may vary. Keep a respectful distance.
And, for the love of God, don’t try to cop a feel. You’re not an animal.
Also – don’t touch people’s costumes or props without asking first. It’s weird, and you could break something.
11. Don’t mindlessly chatter to busy people.
This one is a little borderline; it can be a good thing or a bad thing. It’s really just paying attention to the person you’re talking to.
Really this mostly goes for the guests and celebs at a convention. While the majority of them seem to enjoy talking to con-goers, taking up too much of their time to tell a rambling story is sort-of disrespectful to not only the celeb but the rest of the people in line waiting for their turn. (And if the celeb has asked for no photos, then don’t try to sneak one in.)
The same goes for people on the con-floor. I’ve noticed geeks especially LOVE to talk at length about their favourite subject, but try to cognizant of the person you’re talking to. Oftentimes people are trying to get to panels or shoots, and dealers and artists have other customers to talk to and deal with.
12. Observe proper line etiquette.
Obviously you don’t need to be cutting the line. Do I really even need to say this?
Make sure you get there in plenty of time; ask volunteers or staff beforehand if they might know what time the line will start to form.
Don’t hold spots for a bunch of people. Generally 1 or 2 people is fine, but people around you will get mad if 20 people suddenly show up as the doors open because you were “holding their spot.”
Pay attention to the directions of staff and volunteers.
13. Treat con and hotel staff with respect/Listen to staff/security.
Just because you’re a paying customer doesn’t give you the right to do whatever you want to.
Be polite to hotel and con staff, security and volunteers, even if, perhaps, they are not being polite to you. Staff can get pretty stressed out and may not ask you to do something in the most polite way, but it’s nothing personal. Sometimes security can get tired of dealing with people acting stupid, and may lump you in with the same group. Just nod, do what they told you to do, and move on. Don’t let it ruin your con – I’ve been there and let it dampen my fun, and I really should have just gotten over it and gone on with my life.
(Obviously there are exceptions to this rule – if you feel like you’re being treated badly and you shouldn’t be, find management and complain.)
And tip your bellhops and maids!
14. Do not treat the hotel/convention center as your own personal playground.
I cannot tell you how many cons/events have been asked not to return to a hotel/con center after the event. And it’s usually because the con-goers have acted like idiots.
The hotel is not yours for the taking. Don’t destroy the rooms. Don’t tear down curtains. Don’t write or stick stickers ANYWHERE. Don’t move potted plants. Don’t tear up their gardens. Don’t pee in the stairwells. Don’t spray-paint the bathrooms. Don’t sleep in the public areas because you don’t have a room. Don’t climb things that aren’t meant to be climbed. Don’t be loud and run around like you’re a 9 year old at 2 AM.
(Honestly can I say the sticker thing bugs the crap out of me? I see them and try to scrape them off before they get too stuck.)
15. Do not shout or be otherwise loud in hotel hallways late night.
Going back to that last one… just because a convention is in a hotel, doesn’t mean everyone at the hotel is there for the convention. While it can be funny to freak out “the norms,” don’t be an asshole. Don’t sit in the hallway screaming and laughing all hours of the night. Go back downstairs to the dance/rave if you still have energy to burn. Even your fellow con-goers may already be trying to sleep, and really don’t want to hear you screaming the Doctor Who theme-song at the top of your lungs as you run down the hall.
16. Observe good hygiene and stay healthy.
Please shower. If you’ve been to a con, you know “con funk.” Don’t add to it.
If you don’t have access to a shower, at least use deodorant and wash up.
Keep yourself healthy; eat and sleep as well as you can. Make sure you’re drinking water and keeping hydrated.
If you’re under the weather, don’t cough or sneeze around other con-goers. If you’re full blown sick, don’t go.
So now I’ve said my piece. Now get off my lawn!