KELL’S “BRUSH” WITH DISASTER!!
I hate painting. I hate it. It’s too messy, it’s too real!
But when I DO paint, I use acrylic. However, I couldn’t find my green acrylic. I needed to paint this stupid heart thing green for my costume. So I went hunting through my family’s ancient collection of paints to find another green.
I found one that might work and carried it back to my room. I opened it and put some on my paper plate (I’m so cheap), and it was like, really gross. I was thinking, “GROSS!” I dabbed my brush in it a little, and then had a horrible realization.
This is oil paint!
After my panicked screams died down, I ran to the bathroom to try and get it off my brush. I know very little about oil paints, but I found out quickly I was doing things the WRONG way. In a matter of mere seconds, I had bright green hands, a bright green paintbrush, and a bright green sink. And none of it was going away!!
So I started yelling for my mom. She comes in and orders me into the kitchen. Luckily she wasn’t mad, she was just like, “I don’t know what to do either!” I remembered one thing from my high school art classes – “Turpentine!” I yelled. “Do we have turpentine?!”
“If we do,” she said, “it’s upstairs in all your old stuff!”
I wracked my brain for information about oil paints. “Salad dressing! Do we have salad dressing?!”
“What kind?!” my mom said.
Then we figured out we needed oil. I don’t know how she did it, but one second she was standing there in her pajamas and the next second she was holding a bottle of Mazola.
She went off with her cleaning agents to try to get the green out of the sink while I scrubbed my hands with Mazola and let my brush set in a cup of it. Well, it worked. I got most of the green off my hands. Mom resorted to the Mazola as well, and was able to get it out of the sink.
The morale of this story is: I’m a genius for thinking of Salad Dressing.