when i wrote an autobiography

And while I’m on the subject, if I ever write an autobiography, I will name it “The Romantic Exploits of Kell A. Antioch.” And then when people read it, there will be no romantic exploits, only madcap exploits, and they will say, “Hey! There are no romantic exploits in this book!”

And I won’t say anything, ’cause I probably won’t be there when they say that.