There’s this whole notion built into us as a culture surrounding two girls showing up to prom/a dance, wearing the same dress. When it happens in movies or tv shows, cattiness ensues.
Then you get the whole “Who Wore it Better?” blurbs in magazines when two starlets have worn the same dress at one point or another. Oftentimes with a poll at the bottom so viewers can vote who looks better.
Unfortunately this same mindset and/or rivalry is often thrust on costumers.
The thing is, it’s nearly impossible to avoid. Popular and current movies, tvs, and comics will always draw costumers in. As I’ve said before, media that is popular is popular for a reason – a character like Daenerys from Game of Thrones speaks to a lot of people, whether it’s her attitude, her costumes, her story, her dragons, or any combination of those things. So of course, costumers are going to want to dress as her. Older movies like Star Wars still draw a huge costumer following, thanks in part to the 501st and Rebel Legion. You will still see at least one Slave Leia at a convention – because she’s a popular character, there’s a lot of options for buying the costume, and it’s fun to wear.
Let’s be honest – it would be fun to be the only Black Widow at a convention and get pulled into every related Avengers/Marvel photo you see. But, it’s not likely to happen, unless you’re at a small event or very small convention. There will probably be at least one other Black Widow, if not 20 more (like you would see at a large convention like DragonCon or SDCC.)
Very early on in my convention-going days, I realized I had a decision to make. I could either be POSITIVE about this experience – or I could be NEGATIVE. That jealous mindset we see of “OMG she wore the same dress as me that bitch!” is admittedly strong, but you can turn it around. But here was a few thoughts I had back then.
This person loves the same show and character as you!
Seriously, it’s not like you both grabbed the same dress off the rack at the prom store. You are both dressed like the same character because you both have something in common – your love of a show & character. Why be catty over someone who LIKES THE SAME THINGS AS YOU?
This person ALSO worked hard on their costume.
There’s a good chance the other person’s costume is better than yours. Or maybe you think yours is better. Does it really matter? You can take the opportunity to discuss the different ways you tackled different parts of the costume. Learn something new and maybe teach something helpful.
And if they bought their costume — or YOU bought your costume — it’s no big deal, it’s still a mutual love for a character and fun opportunity for a photo-op.
Choosing positivity & fighting the Green Eyed Monster
We, as costumers, oftentimes get a LOT of negativity thrown our way. Why should we EVER be the source of more of that negativity?
I admit to being jealous. It’s a natural emotion. Especially when we feel like we’ve worked REALLY hard on something and see someone who is, perhaps, prettier or more popular getting more attention for basically the same costume. And the thing is; you never know if the other person is having mean thoughts about you. What if you approach them and they’re snippy with you? Sometimes it’s a chance you have to take; if they’re snippy, it’s their issue and not yours.
And with jealousy being such a natural reaction, being positive – in all aspects of costuming, not just meeting others in the same costume – has to be a very conscience decision. You can either fall into the trap of feeling jealous and petty and upset, or you can choose be friendly and upbeat and enjoy the experience.
Now, when we as costumers are pitted against each other through no actions of our own, it’s a different ballgame. I once saw where someone had posted a group picture of a bunch of us dressed as the same character, and had gone through and “rated” each girl. (That day I learned: I’m a man, apparently.)
That sucks. I think it sucks when magazines do it to people who have had a whole team of stylists prepare them for the night and do appearances for part of their living. I think it sucks even more when websites or forums do it to just normal people having fun.
The only good thing about is that I have seen costumers come together as a group and call out websites for doing this, and been successful in getting polls and articles removed, and a lot of websites that run cosplay features now only show as a gallery, and maintain a good moderation on comments.
And again, at the end of the day it’s going to come down to your mindset. If you see a page like that, and you know you’re on it, are you going to look? Are you going to get frustrated and mad at the comments? Then don’t look. There are much better things to focus on.
