The Saga of Mr Monkey (working title)
A Poem by everyone at the BBS
This poem is still ongoing. If you want to add to it, go to the General forum and look for a post titled “HAHA!”
There once was a monkey,
he dressed kind of punky.
With a mohhock and plaid,
together it was quite sad.
Especially the nose ring,
such a huge rusty thing!
And when he tried to pogo,
he ended up in Fargo.
Nobody liked him there..
But he just didn’t care
So he went to a shop
Where he bought a new plaid top
and a pair of acid wash jeans
Despite his limited means
He thought it looked retro
And since the chimp was hetro
He went off looking for a hot female
but instead, he got an e-mail.
The monk, he saw a goat…
Who then began to gloat.
He said he had a box…
and a pair of toe socks!
The socks had zebra stripes…
And they looked kinda nice.
The poor monkey stole’em…
Who, in turn, was filched by Gollum
So he went off on a quest
To find a pretty dress
and some shoes to match
He got the best pair in the batch!
So he bought a lovely hat
It was made out of cat.
Then he saw Ocha,
She was ordering a java mocha.
The monkey sat down
Ocha gave him a frown.
“Ape, you were not invited.”
This did *not* make our monkey delighted.
So he jumped and he threw things and yelled
untill a vulcan tried a mind meld
the monkey freaked and swore a blue steak
And blue and green meat will surely make your belly ache!
So he went to see a doc
but instead he saw “the Rock”
With that old scottish guy
(The one who played James the spy)
But got sick in the middle
He complained that his tummy got little.
“The Rock” gave him drugs
He ran around yelling “KILL THE BUGS!”
Then everyone’s skin got all melty
His was starting to be all felty.
Then a llama jumped out!
They started to Twist’n’shout,
But eventually they grew bored
and ate a fruity gourd
Then gobbled a banana
and did the can-can-a!
They danced all around
They wore rings in the ground
Neighbors called in the cops
To try and make them stop!
The cops however got into the groove
Boy, those officers could move!
They danced all day and night
then they complained that their shoes were too tight,
so they chucked them and the house next door…
Through a hole on the floor
they landed on a mean old man
who was sitting in the darkness and trying to get a tan.
The man got up and he yelled at the cops
Their reaction was to rip off their tops!
This scared the old man and made him whimper
But his wife was brave — she did not simper
“Get out of here, you bare-chested boys!”
They grabbed their purple and grey couderoys,
The monkey gave out a sigh,
Pulling his trousers way up high
And led them all into the street
And then the monkey had a nasty bruise on his thigh
and decided that he should go get a taco and cola
But the taco gave him the virus Ebola
So he went to the doctor again
“hey, Doc, I want to complain…”
He said in a masculine voice
“This disease wasn’t my choice!
I just nibbled a little burrito…”
The doc said, “Sorry, Pepito,
But it looks like you’re gonna croak.”
“This must be some awful, cruel joke!”
The monkey said with a sob
“No joke,” Doc said, “Stop whining, yob!
Prepare to meet your end.”
For this is it, my friend.”
“Before I die” this monkey said…
I wish for a moldy slice of bread
“Are you serious?” asked the big old quack
“YES” He Screamed “You Think I’m a WHACK”
The terrified doctor ran through the practice…
looking for the bread for the monkey who was famished.
On the way he saw Spockmonkeys everywhere,
“They’re in my mind! Get them out of there!
I’ve got to find that ape some bread!”
before he turns all cold and dead
Then suddenly a nurse appeared
She was really tall and had a thick brown beard!
She said “Hun, I’ll get those spockmonkeys out”
You just need some detergent “Shout”
That’ll get out the chimps!
Otherwise throw him to the pimps!
Then back came the twistin llama…
I hear she is a sexy momma
When she dances the macarena and tango
And then came the people from Fargo
Who didn’t like our furry friend
They surrounded him – the ape was penned!
He kept his cool. “Can I help you folks?”
“Shut up monkey, cut the jokes.”
“What will you do to me?” the monkey cried.
“We’ll gobble you up, all toasted and fried!”
Said the evil “Fargan” leader
He used to be a monkey breeder
And loved “The temple of doom”
He had a special dining room
With monkey scoops and tongs
And an orchestra playing songs
The monkey begain to freak
“Oh No! Help Me!” he started to shriek.
Just then a door opened and someone came in!
It was Eli Whitney and he’d brought a cotton gin!
The Fargans all fled when they saw the old man
Monkey said, “Whit!!! I’m your biggest fan!”
“Hullo old thing,” the inventor said.
The monkey leaped for joy and he bumped his head
He fell, unconcious, in a heap
This caused some innocent bystanders to start to weep!
“Oh the poor monkey!” One of them cried
“He lies there unconcious, I hope he’s not died!”
Then the chimp sat up. The entire crowd cheered!
“I can see up your skirt,” the filthy ape leered.
“I’m back from the dead and I’m ready to party.”
Then stepped up the girl’s friend Barty.
“Watch it, monkey,” he said, “Or you’ll be dead again.”
Hahahahaha this is the best poem ever XD