Well it’s been a week.
When I posted last week I wasn’t all that concerned about our disney trip getting canceled. I figured things would have blown over by then. I was a little more concerned about our con 2 weeks before disney but only like 20% worried.
Now, I’m pretty sure both are going to get canceled and I’m staring into a black hole of sadness and despair.
Disney announced they’re closed through the end of March. But between them sending all the college program kids home and the CDC recommending no gatherings of over 50 people for the next 8 weeks, I don’t think they’re going to be open in 7 weeks for our trip.
I know it’s a stupid thing to be upset about when people are sick and we don’t know what’s going to happen but the way I have always functioned – and I’m sure a lot of other people out there function like this – is that I get myself through hard times and bad times by having something to look forward to, and in my adult life that has always been cons and vacations (specifically Disney). Having a con I was REALLY looking forward to because I was gonna get to go with my whole fam for the first time AND my disney trip I’ve been planning since August last year get canceled is just devastating to me. I don’t know that I’ve ever felt so… hopeless.
On top of all that, I now I have to tell you all about last Wednesday.
So Tuesday mid-day I got a call that Mema was having abdominal pains and they were taking her to the ER. A few hours later we heard it was a UTI and she was dehydrated. Then a few hours after that, we found it was more than that… she had a perforated bowel. Chase & I went up to see her, she was very tired but her normal self. They were giving her meds and in a “wait and see” pattern to see if it would reverse itself I guess?
Then Wednesday afternoon she started acting funny, her BP was dropping. I went up straight after work, and I got up to her room to find her and everybody gone! A nurse saw me looking confused and told me I’d just missed them, they were taking her to the ICU, and told me how to get there. Got down there and the rest of the family on hand said they were prepping her for ICU and we’d be able to go back in about an hour. They gave us our own side room in the ICU waiting room to hang out, there were a lot of us LOL.
Then as we were expecting to hear she was settled in the ICU, they rang the phone in our room and said “hey guess what we’re taking her straight back to surgery right now.” They let us in 2 at a time to talk to her. It was going to be a super risky surgery for her at her age. Cath and I went back together and told her we loved her and she told us the same. My mom got there just in time to go back, too.
They told us it would be a 2 hour surgery, and a nurse would call at 8, halfway through, to update us. We all went back to the ICU waiting room, and got dinner, and waited on the phone to ring. It rang at just a couple of minutes past 8 and every sound in the world stopped. I’ve never heard my family be so quiet. Nobody was breathing. My aunt who is a nurse is the one who answered the phone. After a minute she said “that’s great” and in that moment you could hear everybody breathe again.
It was actually the surgeon calling – it was over! It had taken only an hour instead of 2. She was in recovery and had done well, thank God. We went on home totally exhausted. She’s been improving each day. She’s still in the ICU but she’s been doing PT and walking a bit and acting her normal self. She’s just tired because nobody gets any sleep in the hospital.
We had sectioned out this whole week to have someone staying with her at all times, but just this morning they closed off the hospital because of the dumb virus and now only my grand-dad is allowed to stay with her. And we don’t think that’s going to last that long, either. We’re all really worried about not having someone there who can update the whole family on the group text, and the fact we can’t send in our more medically minded people anymore. But hopefully she keeps on her positive trajectory and can be sent home sooner rather than later.
Anyway, after all that anxiety, plus the stress and anxiety over the stupid virus, on thursday I decided to delete facebook and twitter off my phone. I still have them, I can still get on from my computer, but just having that instant regular “I’m bored go to facebook” option on my phone helped ease my anxiety considerably. Both FB and twitter are just constant sources of bad news, misinformation, and just “TOO MUCH” virus stuff. So cutting myself off from that, at least partially, was helpful, especially over the weekend. I am generally not ever on my computer over the weekend, just checking stuff on my phone, so I didn’t see FB or twitter once from friday afternoon to sunday evening. Sunday evening I made the mistake of looking at twitter on my laptop before starting up the sims and it sent me into the huge, horrible anxiety and depression puddle I am in now.
Saturday we did run a few errands, picked up some more food, ran to Joann for some fabric so I’d have plenty to sew on.
This is actually from tuesday. I got this romper pattern a while back and I wanted to do my Leia disneybound with it. But I dunno how I feel about rompers on me. The one time I tried one on it looked horrible. So I did a mockup first. Here’s the shorts part. Cute, huh? It’s a look.
But then Saturday I dug in with a full mock-up using some Stitch printed knit I had on hand. I figured if it works out I have another cute romper for Disney. If it’s ugly I’ll sleep in it. But I got the entire thing assembly and like 99% finished Saturday.
I do feel a little chonky in it. But I think it’s cute overall.
And here it is with my Leia belt – wanted to see how it looked with it since that’s my plan for the Leia one. I think whenever I cut the Leia one I’m going to cut it a little longer through the torso.
Saturday night I recorded some tiktoks. And then Sunday? I had planned to sew but I ended up doing absolutely nothing. I woke up with a migraine, so I ate breakfast and then went back to sleep. Then I ate lunch, played the sims, cleaned up around the house. I did clean up my sewing room a bit, and wrote up a to-do list on a dry erase board so I could keep up with my projects. But that was it. I was lazy yesterday and I don’t care.
Last Sims family in the Death House was the Big Bang Theory characters. Howard died first, he was just swimming around in the pool and just drowned??! Like on the first day and I wasn’t even trying. Then they had 2 murphy beds and Bernadette got smashed by one really quickly. Then Penny. Then I got bored of the family and just set off a bunch of fireworks. Now it’s the Donner Party. Mom, Dad, Grandma, Son 1, Daughter, Son 2 and Handyman. They have no electricity, they only can cook on the outside grill from the island living expansion, they have a bonfire. But they do have a “swimming hole”. I wish the game had some kind of hammock or sleeping bag I could put in their cabin for sleeping. I can get coffins for vampires to sleep in but no sleeping bags? Come on EA. So right now they all have the cheapest beds possible.
I did also work on the Black Widow dress a bit last week, but I ended up putting it away to think about for a bit. I got a lot of placement ideas and a few folks saying go with the other dress, but overall it just confused me more on what I want and I think I need to step away from it and let it percolate.
I mean it’s not like I’m going to be wearing in 7 weeks in disneyworld anyway 🙁
But Kristie did swing by with a random happy gift of a cute Minnie iphone case, so there’s that at least.
