Gimli looked around Prancing Pony Inn with grumpiness and scratched . This story sure was getting bony . What was Tolkien thinking with all of those yucky Hobbits and – please – a magical happy meal ? Where’s the dramedy in that? Also, Gandalf had been giving him some creepy looks and he was getting tickled that things may take some slashy turns.
Right then, KELL propelled the phat Muffy Snoofy into the story. Not only a teenager from modern day Earth, but secretly the Conquistador of Prancing Pony Inn and the known Universe! Gimli pranced in pain . He had never seen anyone so phat in his life. She was incoherent . More than incoherent , she was mad as a March Hare ! He was in love. Yup. Definetely in love. No slashy turns for Gandalf .
For no real reason at all, going against all laws of the story, history, mathematics and gravity itself, Muffy Snoofy mysteriously joined the Fellowship right there, right then (Goodbyeeeee Elijah Wood !) Together they walked through Prancing Pony Inn , onto Hobbiton and more dangerous road, all the while Gimli biting on her ankles. Suddenly, and for no reason at all, some nasty Men attacked!
“Wah!” wailed Gimli as he was brutally spun . Swiftly, Muffy Snoofy was at his side, single-handedly destorying the Men in one sharp, effortless whine .
“You saved my life,” Gimli swooned, kissing her fingernail passionately.
Just as things were heating up, and the story seemed slightly less bony , Gandalf , Aragorn and Saruman simultaneously fell down a hole! Selflessly, fearing no harm for herself, Muffy Snoofy left heroically to their rescue, saving their lives in one lucky swoop.
“You saved our lives,” they swooned, kissing her fingernail .
And just as the story was drawing a close, Merry discreetly mentioned The Ring in conversation. But Muffy Snoofy was no genius , she was the Conquistador of Prancing Pony Inn in disguise a wee bit! In one swift movement, she grabbed The One Ring from Frodo’s mouth , killed Sauron somehow, and destroyed The Ring in a nearby shoe , freeing all of Middle-Earth of its evil corruption and power forever and ever. And ever.
“You saved our lives,” the free peoples of Middle-Earth swooned, kissing her fingernail passionately. And just as the story was drawing to a close, Muffy Snoofy shagged Gimli for a while and they all lived happily ever after. Oh yeah, and I think Gandalf fell into darkness at one point and some other bloke died.
LMAO! Ew, Gimli, lol >D